Single Mom & PTSD

ckleeh · 01-28-2010, 08:49

Well, I have a lot to say here, I just don't know where to start.

I was single mom for my daughters first five years, but for six years we had a mom and dad life style.

December 23, 2003, I was notified to report on the 27 of December to deploy to Iraq. December 25 I left my daughter and family for over a year.

Leavening was hell. I never imagined returning would be eternal hell.

I could tell you the long story about my husband, but I will make it short. He saw and protected me from myself through the darkest times. I love him and respect him as a dear friend. (I wasn't there for him so he turned to someone else.)

My daughter and I have been on our own for a year now. It is so hard when I have my times where I'm barely keeping things together, and she is acting out. Husband is still there for us, and sometime I do call and tell him I can't do this right now I need your help. He has been really good about that. Even when I went to the ER with chest pains. I called to see if he could pickup my daughter. Instead grandmother swoops in and takes care of her, and he is by my side. Crazy.

The thing is I know it can't be this way for ever and it doesn't always work out.

The PTSD is CRAZY. I realized, going through the haunted house at Halloween, I had taught my daughter to sweep and scan the area around her. At first I was sadden by it, all these other people a screaming and my daughter is laughing and making fun of the actors. (Because she would see them before they could jump out.) Then I realized she was still having fun. Just in a different way.

My daughter recently diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar, and puberty and PMS. Put that in a small apartment with PTSD and Major Depression....

Not always a fun place to be. But, I have become some what of a pushover. I don't like to upset her; instead I'm upset and pissed off. (Just do what ever she did or didn’t do.)

Everyday I feel like I'm waiting for that one last straw. The days when it lands are really scary. I have no idea what I might do. I just lock myself away.

I go to group (OIF/OEF) every week. I love the guys and know if I need them they will be there for me, but there is part where I still feel alone. I need know I'm not alone, from another woman. I need help.

Railroad Momma · 01-28-2010, 15:30

I feel the pain you are undergoing and want you to know that you are not alone. I raised three wonderful children while living with Bi-polar disorder, PTSD and OCD. They have all (by some miracle) turned out just fine. They all have their own mental health issues, but nothing that can't be managed by each of them (hereditary factors unfortunately). I was a single mom for part of their lives, but am greatful for a husband that understood the importance of supporting me. My greatest advice to you about raising your daughter is that you be as honest with her about your mental health issues as possible. The more information children have about mental health disorders, the healthier they will be with any of their own mental health. Be gentle with yourself and raise her with a gentle, yet firm hand. I am here if you ever want to chat. All my best to you.

Laura

StellaDarlings · 02-05-2010, 11:40

I can feel the kind of situation you have there...I can offer you assistance if you have not submitted a claim for benefits.

Have you done that? It's only a nightmare filled with difficulties when you don't have the guidance.

Alice

ckleeh · 02-05-2010, 20:14

Thank you Alice. I do have a claim in appeal, and I'm represented by the American Legion. Again, thank you.