Railroad Momma

Today I received a Certificate of Appreciation from the Army for outstanding service to the Nation as a United States Army soldier. It stated that I was being recognized for my patriotism and continued support of the Army family...the United States Army and a grateful Nation thank you. This was a wonderful surprise until I saw my husband's name on the certificate and not my own. He didn't even serv in the Army. My son recently graduated from basic training and gave them our names as his parents and veterans, but they assumed that it was my husband that was in the Army instead of me. Will this gender descrimination ever end?

__________________
"Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves."
~Regina Brett~

mom6

I hope to hell it does. That is so much crap, I am sorry about that. I think I would write to the address on the envalope and tell them that the name is wrong and I would like it spelled right. Probably would not do much good but might make you feel better.

__________________
Leslie
Hugs and warm thought from Oregon

Grullogal

Ouch....but, it is true. Been there. Always ASSUME it is the male. Kinda makes you sad inside. You are not the only woman this has happened to. We bank with USAA which is military....they ALWAYS thank my husband for his service but do not recognize mine.....he even called them and told them I was a veteran too. Didn't seem to matter, he was the officer, I guess NCO's don't count and having to resign my commission after only 2 years because I was sick, all my 16 years of service ment nothing to the bank, nor my service to this country is how I felt. My husband didn't serve in a combat zone. Even though I am also a customer because of my "husband", they don't recognize my service but will take my money. Each year on Veteran's day when he gets recognized each year, it saddens me.

LadyVet

My first name has a male spelling, Lee. Everytime I go to the VA for treatment, they call me Mr. LeTeff. I can't count the amount of time that I go to sign into a clinic and I am told to please have the veteran step up and that "You know you cannot sign your husband in." It is extremely frustrating to say the least.

The first time I was hospitalized in the VA they didn't even have shower facilities for women. They gave me a pass every other day to drive over an hour each way to home and back to the hospital so I could shower.

It took me several years to quit sending me "Mr." mail on every communique'. Finally, they only send me about 10% Mr. mail.

I don't know of a solution. I do know that I am tired of being called a guy. One VA employee went as far as to tell me that I should feel honored that they thought I was a guy. So I looked at his name badge and told him "Thank you very much Mrs. So and So. When he became upset at being called Mrs., I simply told him he should feel honored and walked away. I don't know that it solved anything, but it certainly made me feel better.

Grullogal

As a nurse, I can relate to that. A way to maybe fix that is to ask them to please put (Ms or Mrs)which ever you prefer after your first name in parentheses. Unless you are specifically going to the women's clinic do they know that you are female, or you have a gender specific name. Unfortunately you will find that in the civilian world too. Your response to the guy was appropriate and good for you!! Now, that was funny what you did....tee-hee!!

LadyVet

There are times the VA is completely frustrating. At least the one of the newer clinics in Cedar Park, TX is more female friendly. It is staffed and run by women. It is a refreshing addition.

I have a female primary care physician. They are used to my husband accompanying me, now. At first, they hauled me into a private room and inquired whether he was abusive to me and controlling. I told them NO! He is here at my request because I don't feel safe in the VA environments due to previous incidents of assault and harrassment.

Now they are supportive when my husband accompanies me in every room that I enter. (Except for female exams... I feel too exposed there to have him in "that" room. But he waits in the waiting room without leaving while listening for my screams if anything were to go wrong.)

His presence keeps the "bad" vets away. It also enables me to receive the medical care that I need while feeling more protected. My health had gotten so bad that he was insisting that I go back to the VA for treatment. I told him that I would NEVER walk back into the VA without having an escort. He promised to go with me every time while NEVER backing out nor complaining. He has kept his word. What a guy!

If some of you women aren't married, but need an escort, try getting a girlfriend or another female vet to accompany you. I still experience extreme panic attacks at every visit, but at least I am able, with my husband's backing, to attend to my medical needs.

Lady Vet

bludog

I had a couple bad experiences with medical care while in the Army. This wasn't VA related, this was care at the on post medical facilities and hospital. I can still remember what some of the nurses and doctors said to me - they were very unprofessional. What's up with that anyway? Is it because they are in the Army too and figure the patient can't do anything about the care or situation.

When I commented on this stuff to my father he said this: Think about why they (doctors) are in the Army and not out working in a private practice. That made me go hmmmm. I know there are really good doctors and nurses in the military, probably some of the best around - but his comment still gave me pause.

LadyVet

The medical care I received while in the Army was abismal (sp). However, I was treated at West Point for a knee injury and that was excellent treatment. I know what you mean about the snide comments and unprofessionalism from the regular Army Hospitals.

I had a short hospital stay in an Air Force Hospital. Talk about a world of difference!!! They were very professional. They were understanding and tried to get the Army to do the same..... it didn't work ..... The Army Hospital staff remained the same as always ignoring every suggestion the Air Force Medical Personnel had offered.

I don't really buy the "if they were working in private practice" excuse. I always did my jobs to the top of my ability. It is a choice of how to do your job and they chose not to be professional.

I am glad you are here and giving us your stories.

LadyVet

Grullogal

You will find in the VA system that many staff members feel self-important, you must let them know they are merely there to serve you as a VET. And that they would NOT have a job if it was not for you and your fellow VETs. Many "small-town" VA's are political and the MD's are not certified say as a "family practice physician". Many of the MD's are out of date on their skills, they are licensed as a GP by their State. GP's are not required to take any CME's (continuing medical education) classes or they are just out of Medical School with limited experience. The VA system only requires their mid-level providers be certified and carry a DEA license, if they write for narcotics, PA's and NP's. Only in the teaching VA's is where the better Doc's are, in the bigger cities. It is also a unionized organization so it is almost impossible for someone to get fired, even if they are incompetent especially in the rural VA's. It's a FUMU at best (F.... up, move up). They also get state hopping Doc's. Most importantly report, remember you have rights, see the Patient Advocate if you do not get satisfaction the next step is Veteran's Service Officer in your area, followed by an AG investigation if you feel you still are not satisfied. Once they know that you will not put up with being treated that way, that should stop. Even if it is a fellow male veteran who is out of line, let them know. In defence of the nurse having to ask you that question about abuse without your husband is because it is required. I know about all those questions and when I worked I explained why I had to ask. It does rather seem very personal to ask such questions, but women are usually silent about abuse, I was, so I could relate to that. Also, especially in the small town VA's most of the employee's have never worked outside of that environment. They start as nursing assist, and get their nursing degree and never work anywhere else. At least that is what I have experienced. I worked many other places before the VA so it was a "culture" shock to me, I did the best I could with what I had to deal with (Administrative staff members).

Tiger-Dane-Mom

Well, can I brag......... I got one, for fixing dinner for some d%$# visiting officers, never got one for pulling that NCO out from under the burning airplane (like they said I would), He was 60 pounds heavier and 10 inches taller than me too! I guess WOMEN are supposed to cook and set tables!

__________________
[INDENT][LEFT]Air Force Vet :D Crew Chief[/LEFT]
[/INDENT]